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[- Designer Dick
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By joerabie, Section editors' corner
Posted on Wed Nov 26th, 2003 at 12:03:08 AM EURODISCORDIA TIME
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A colleague, whose girlfriend at the time was living at the other end of the country, once declared that if he took all the male sex organ lengthening stuff that turned up in his Inbox, he would no longer have to physically travel to her in order to have intercourse with her. I am always amazed, each morning, by the number of such messages that crowd their way through my awesome antispam filter. And I wonder who are the cohorts of people who, each day, spend their time inventing new ways to spell "pe}_n1s", in order to get the enlarging message of their mysterious clients through to me?
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I admit that I am no expert in this particular branch of medical science, and have no physical proof that such solutions do NOT indeed work, as common sense would have one presume. Pulling on my rubber gloves and clicking on the links in some of these emails reveals that their great number and variety conceal a limited number of vendors, each proclaiming the superiority of their particular brand, be it patches, pumps, or pills. A quick search in Google for '"penis lengthening benchmark"' comes up empty handed. Not really prolix in scientific terms.
The inconclusive nature of this field of masculine medical endeavour is outclassed by its vigour in the field of marketing. Someone must be doing really well out of this, must really be supplying demand for this business to have such staying power. This raises a number of issues:
- Who are sending all these emails?
- How are they hired?
- Are they paid for their labour?
- If so, for number of emails sent, or as a commission on sales?
- Are there sales?
Common sense says that the so-called penis enlargement industry is all one big scam, yet the continuing existence of these emails demonstrates that it works. Not the remedies - the marketing.
Which means that for all the people like me who get pissed off with this mumbo jumbo, there are others who appreciate, take out their little blue card and order their bottle of VP RX. Are they satisfied clients? I have yet to receive an invitation to a web petition denouncing the stuff. (Just new recent spam to stop "pop-ups", but this may be incidental).
And at the end of the day, the truth is revealed that "bigger" isn't "better" after all. What makes all the difference are the fantasy, the esthetics, the metaphors, the feeling. Which raises the opportunity for a new commercial venture. Designer Dicks! The Parametered Penis! Here comes the Lighthouse Pill, the Bandwidth Patch, the Androgyne Pump. They don't necessarily have to work, but if people are gullible enough to pay for it, it could finance Discordia. |
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