Information InFiltration. The Anti-Blender Consortium.

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[- Designer Dick
By joerabie, Section editors' corner
Posted on Wed Nov 26th, 2003 at 12:03:08 AM EURODISCORDIA TIME
A colleague, whose girlfriend at the time was living at the other end of the country, once declared that if he took all the male sex organ lengthening stuff that turned up in his Inbox, he would no longer have to physically travel to her in order to have intercourse with her. I am always amazed, each morning, by the number of such messages that crowd their way through my awesome antispam filter. And I wonder who are the cohorts of people who, each day, spend their time inventing new ways to spell "pe}_n1s", in order to get the enlarging message of their mysterious clients through to me?


[ --------------------------------------------- ]

I admit that I am no expert in this particular branch of medical science, and have no physical proof that such solutions do NOT indeed work, as common sense would have one presume. Pulling on my rubber gloves and clicking on the links in some of these emails reveals that their great number and variety conceal a limited number of vendors, each proclaiming the superiority of their particular brand, be it patches, pumps, or pills. A quick search in Google for '"penis lengthening benchmark"' comes up empty handed. Not really prolix in scientific terms.

The inconclusive nature of this field of masculine medical endeavour is outclassed by its vigour in the field of marketing. Someone must be doing really well out of this, must really be supplying demand for this business to have such staying power. This raises a number of issues:

- Who are sending all these emails?
- How are they hired?
- Are they paid for their labour?
- If so, for number of emails sent, or as a commission on sales?
- Are there sales?

Common sense says that the so-called penis enlargement industry is all one big scam, yet the continuing existence of these emails demonstrates that it works. Not the remedies - the marketing.

Which means that for all the people like me who get pissed off with this mumbo jumbo, there are others who appreciate, take out their little blue card and order their bottle of VP RX. Are they satisfied clients? I have yet to receive an invitation to a web petition denouncing the stuff. (Just new recent spam to stop "pop-ups", but this may be incidental).

And at the end of the day, the truth is revealed that "bigger" isn't "better" after all. What makes all the difference are the fantasy, the esthetics, the metaphors, the feeling. Which raises the opportunity for a new commercial venture. Designer Dicks! The Parametered Penis! Here comes the Lighthouse Pill, the Bandwidth Patch, the Androgyne Pump. They don't necessarily have to work, but if people are gullible enough to pay for it, it could finance Discordia.

[ --------------------------------------------- ]

Designer Dick | 10 comments
[new] Spam - great game material (Avg. Score: 2.00 / Raters: 1) (#5)
by SophiaRawlinson on Wed Nov 26th, 2003 at 02:05:00 PM EURODISCORDIA TIME
(User Info)

A project I embarked on earlier this year at college involved creating a game of Top Trumps using the content of Spam. Whilst desperately trying to link theory such as memes and the concept of 'power words' to spam for an essay, I thought 'Hey, it's like Top Trumps' - the result is here. (It may take a while to load).
For more spam art, check out the Spam Art Centre. (Apologies if this link has already been posted, I only scanned the thread!).

  • spam as ... material by Aileen, 11/27/2003 09:30:59 AM EURODISCORDIA TIME (none / 0)
    • Spam Poetry by SophiaRawlinson, 12/01/2003 12:57:51 PM EURODISCORDIA TIME (none / 0)
[new] spam and the glass ceiling (Avg. Score: none / Raters: 0) (#2)
by amy on Wed Nov 26th, 2003 at 07:35:45 AM EURODISCORDIA TIME
(User Info)

i've been wondering lately - as all the ads for p3n1s enhancing products fill my inbox - exactly what would i, a member of the female tribe, do with all of these products? obviously, the people sending these don't care whether they are sending to males or females. and why should they? spam is extremely cheap to send - that's why we receive so much of the stuff in the first place.

but, still, i receive many times more "guy" spam than "girl" spam. why is that? i feel a bit marginalized... possible thoughts on the roots of this inequity:
1) girls want to be pleased by guys with enhanced organs, so they'll buy the stuff in hopes of drugging guys with it.
2) it's easier to envision/believe enhancements to the male anatomy than the female
3) guys are presumed to be more gullible - and/or more insecure than girls, and thus easier prey for this type of marketing
4) spam as a tool of sexual liberation
5) penis envy as a marketing strategy

it's the 21st century, you know...

ps, speaking of anti-pop-up-ad spam, (and of course the anti-spam pop-ups many of us have experienced on un-lebotimized windows machines) - i've lately been receiving "buy our product and stop spam" spam. (extortion, anyone?)

# begin amy's sig
-- Discordia is nice.
# end amy's sig

[new] pumps r us (Avg. Score: none / Raters: 0) (#1)
by ryangriffis on Wed Nov 26th, 2003 at 01:37:37 AM EURODISCORDIA TIME
(User Info)

great rant Joe.
it would be great to look into the spam from home industry that seems to be going on. all those ads telling us that we can make $100,000 working from home may be offering a job as the latest in VR sex work - spamming people about generic viagra and penis and breast enlargement.
they could be small "marketing" companies with no office. performing spam for mortgages one minute and, um, aesthetic enhancement the next.
has anyone ever replied to those ads?

Designer Dick | 10 comments

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